I already know when Michael reads this (he will read the headline, not the content) that he will be annoyed because right now I am supposed to be decorating our tree. Well, our second tree. The first was decorated last night with the help of my wonderful mother who listened to me whine and complain most of the time. I just don't enjoy decorating for the holidays anymore. I used to, but it's been a long time and I don't remember why I don't like to now, just call me the Grinch. I do love when the decorations are up and done. I love sitting in the big, comfy chair and watching the lights twinkle while I drink a cup of coffee in the morning or a glass of wine in the evening. I enjoy watching the tree spin (yes, we have a rotating tree stand, because - why not?!) and marveling at the beauty. Once it's all done, that is. In the meantime, it's complain, whine and wish someone else would do it for me. So. I am about halfway done with the second tree, which was actually my original tree from years past, but I love this tree and I can't seem to part with it. It's beautiful and grand and full and covered in memories, not to mention needles all over the floor! I have so many ornaments with Savannah and Robert's names I have lost count putting them up. I have the original ornaments I got from Garden Ridge Pottery so many years ago on a Thanksgiving night when my Aunt Helen and Mom went with me because I wanted to redo my tree from white flocked, bought every year, to the beautiful tree that comes out of the attic now, and which I have halted the decorating. I was thinking of my aunt. We didn't see eye to eye on quite a few things, but we had similar taste and love the elegance and opulence in most things, including my Christmas tree and ornaments. This tree is adorned with maroon and gold. There are some sparkles, but mostly just beautiful, elegant gold with maroon sprinkled in for good measure. (The sparkles are on the new tree... since I do love my sparkles these days. There is glitter all over my floor to prove it.) As I hung some of the ornaments my heart and mind went to days long ago when Savannah was a little one and Robert was home. I miss my kiddos and wish they were closer, but my heart is full because I have gotten to spend time with both of them this year, which I hadn't been able to do for a few years. Savannah has become part of the family again, which brings this momma such joy and peace I can't even explain, and Robert and his family are stateside with this Navy tour and came to visit over the summer. This Christmas will be full of new memories and smiles and laughs with current family arrangements, and as much as I am a Grinch and don't love the hustle and bustle associated with the holiday season, I am looking a bit more forward to it this year. And as the dated ornaments go on the dated tree, the tears fall for different reasons this year than the last couple. The tears are from an overwhelming sense of gratitude for my wonderful family. I have an amazing husband. My family is blessed with health. My parents, in-laws, brother & his family are all local and I can love on my nieces and spend quality time with them as much as our crazy schedules allow. I have friends all around the country and world, and if I wanted to escape for a weekend I know any of them would have me in a heartbeat. I have a terrific job that keeps me challenged, motivated and working with super talented people. I have the best friends a girl could ask for - supportive, loving, kind and caring. Yes, this is a different Christmas season for me in many ways, and this year I will try to see the wonder and merriment through the eyes of a child. After all, God sent His son so we could do just that. He must be onto something...
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